Mothers of the bride (or MOB’s as we wedding folks say) are an important part of the wedding day. Whether you are a close mother-daughter team or tend to have, let’s say, a failure to communicate, it’s important to know your place. Typically, MOB’s get a reputation for being too involved, but over the past few years I have noticed more moms (of both the bride and the groom) playing a bigger role in the overall planning process. For destination weddings, whether moms are local or out-of-town, they are taking over for busy, professional brides and grooms who need a little wedding assist.
The “rules” for the mother-of-the-bride have changed over the years. Some moms wear blue on their daughter’s wedding day, some walk the bride down the aisle, some host a day-after brunch, some are there only to give support and advice when it’s needed, and then others plan the entire wedding. Every bride and MOB is unique.
If you’ve been invited to shop for the bridal dress or go along for the floral consultation do your best to listen to what the bride is thinking and do what you can to make that vision come true. If you’re not asked to come to the vendor meetings, tastings and shopping outings, don’t be offended. Today’s brides are very independent–hey, you made them that way!–and sometimes like to handle as many details as they can on their own, but they are likely to need your help or opinion so just hang tight!
Avoiding conflict with the bride should be a priority when planning a wedding. In terms of budget it is essential to be clear so there aren’t any false expectations about the scope of the wedding. It is not uncommon for brides and grooms as well as the grooms’ parents to contribute to hosting the wedding and rehearsal dinner. Everyone should be prepared to compromise when it comes to the guest list based on the budget.
The most important thing is that you enjoy the wedding day! Find yourself a nice dress that makes you feel great, have a good time, be proud of your daughter and the role you played in helping make this dream come true–it’s a big day for you, too!
