I conducted a seminar last year at The Vermont Wedding Affair and a couple approached me afterwards who needed some advice on how to “claim” their wedding as their own. The bride and groom wanted a Vermonty farm wedding and her parents did not think that was what a wedding should look like. I could see in her face that the bride just didn’t know what to do since her parents were footing the bill and the groom just wanted his bride to get the wedding she wants.
Communication is key to working with your partner and your family. I suggested that the bride talk with her parents about how a ballroom wedding is simply not what she wants and that a more rustic, unique setting is what she was dreaming of. I truly believe that parents want to give their children a beautiful wedding day. The trouble is when there is a difference of opinion in what defines a “beautiful day”.
Family dynamics can be tricky even when we aren’t talking about planning a huge event like a wedding, but at the end of the day it’s absolutely essential that a couple feels their wedding reflected their style. There may be a few areas where you need to take a parent’s preference into consideration (you can serve the type of booze they prefer or allow them to help pick the menu or perhaps you marry in the family’s place of worship), but don’t give up your vision entirely.
Your wedding day is the start of your life together and the planning process is a warm-up for all the decisions you are going to make throughout your lives. Why shouldn’t you also set a tone with your families that says “this is who we are and we know what we want!”? I am sure it will be the right decision for you to plan a wedding that’s uniquely yours.
Here’s an inspiration board with floral designs that have a more rustic, wildflowery feeling…perfect for a barn wedding!
